Keeping it simple for you

The heart bleeds again into the quiet corridors of the subconscious, where memories hang like unfinished frames and every color stains a deeper red. Sanguinity does not suit every season; sometimes hope feels like a costume stitched too tight against the ribs. I am tired of pretending the moment is enough. With each breath I fasten a smile to my face, threading effort into the hollow spaces, yet every attempt goes in vain a promise whispered to walls that do not answer. I tell myself that someday all things will settle, that the chaos will fold into calm but I do not know if I am healing or merely hiding. I tuck away the aches, name them anything but longing. Still, when tears descend unannounced, they lead me back to where we once stood to where you let go. How miserably I miss the simple sanctuary of your arms, that quiet wrap of warmth where the world softened its edges. There are moments I want to unravel before someone yet I swallow the storm, afraid to...

Every step heals a quiet part of me. It took courage to rise and begin rebuilding, and it took the steady presence of my confidants, their faith, their encouragement to keep me moving when I could not see the way ahead. For a long time, I overlooked the fierce strength they were pouring into me, brushing it aside because I could not find a reason to stand up again. They gently reminded me that the reason was never for anyone else; it was for myself. I did not fully understand the depth of those words then, but I carry their meaning now. With reflection and silent gratitude, I began to untangle the knots of my setbacks. I returned to Mother Earth through the anklets, the ghungroo, whose rhythm steadies my breath, heals what was shaken, and slowly shapes a renewed self with every sound. They say I don’t owe them anything. What they may never fully realize is how deeply their presence has shaped me. There is something rare about the way they hold space, grounding without dimming, ste...

Excitement, anxiety, curiosity, every emotion was at its peak the day they left me standing there with my luggage and a neat little list of rules to follow. It felt like the beginning of something big. I didn’t realize then that this “detour” from home would quietly shape me into who I am today. That was the phase of my life when I truly learned to survive  and I say that with a smile. Not because it was harsh, but because it taught me resilience, strength, and self-belief in the most memorable ways. Leaving home for the first time, I was filled with eagerness to make new friends, discover what I loved, study independently, make my own decisions, walk alone with confidence, travel with courage… everything felt new and exciting. Independence wasn’t just a word; it was an adventure. At that tender age, boarding school felt like a dream come true. I had wanted it so badly, and I remain deeply grateful to my grandfather for giving me that opportunity. What I didn’t know then was how be...

From “Can I please…?” to “I want to…” and slowly, almost playfully, to “ You have to …” that shift doesn’t happen with just anyone. It unfolds quietly, between two people who understand the space between request and reassurance & yes, when I say, “ I am not demanding and I am obedient ,” it isn’t surrender, it’s trust wrapped in mischief. It’s comfort disguised as humor. That kind of laughter that follows, the kind that roars without warning and lingers far beyond the moment is rare. It doesn’t visit often. But when it does, it finds a home between two souls and stretches time into something weightless, believe me… you’ve found your person. The one who laughs not just at your jokes, but with your heart. The one whose presence turns ordinary seconds into unrepeatable memories. In the chaos of life, we often forget to honor those who once gave us their presence so effortlessly, their affection without conditions, their time without complaint. The ones who made our days softer and ...

It is your birthday, or perhaps a birthday that now exists only on personal timelines, because we always celebrated it together. This time, there is no togetherness, and there is no birthday I find myself looking forward to anymore. I don’t know how I will gather the strength when the emptiness hits its hardest. The ache of loneliness, its length unknown; cuts straight to my core. That longing to stay awake until midnight, just to catch a glimpse of your smile, even through pain, simply so I could feel happiness again… it overwhelms me. The tears fall and pull me under once more. I know you are with me; I saw you last night. You were walking down the aisle; it was vivid, almost real. I felt your presence. In the crowd, you looked at me and then walked away. The wrench inside me deepened, yet I consoled myself, once again learning how to walk alone, still wishing for just a little more time with you. Today is your special day, and I never intend to hurt you in any way. But my love, the ...

The void remains, the ache lingers… yet what endures is the trust and support each of you gave us. Shared warmth. Borrowed courage. The difference you made is what helped us weather the storm and sail through. To every individual, family, small and large group, and community, you stood with us, bound together, helping us face the storm and move forward. This year reminded us how fragile every breath can be. As we step into the next year, and the years beyond, which I still hesitate to imagine, I hope they are gentler, more welcoming, and kinder to all. Hold your loved ones close, for as long and as often as you can. Happy New Year!

My sorrows, my sorries remain unchanged  The wish of holding you for long, the agony of letting you go remain unchanged.. I find myself lost again,  My words are simple, feelings ghastly dense…  I find myself lost again, even though I know I have to navigate. No words to convince, no questions to be answered.. I find myself lost again, with a million phrases unspoken. I only wish I still had the ability to express.. may be not in words but through the vision engaged. I understand their pain but only if they knew how tired my heart is, unable to pump enough to rebuild the world again. xoxo .. I do miss you now…