Miss you Gelha :(

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I am not crying, and yet I cannot feel the ache within me.

Signing a document where I had to remove your name because you are no longer here felt like the worst nightmare I could ever imagine. Yesterday, during the ritual, your absence tore through me for the first time. And today, as I signed that document, it felt as though nothing was left inside me at all.

Am I just a survivor now? Just an individual? Do I really have no one left to lean on?

It made me realize that there will be moments when I am utterly alone, without you, only to understand more deeply how much you mattered, how much we meant. My love, you will never fade from my memories, nor will I ever let go of the love you gave me. But this emptiness I am living through now, I wish I could erase it.

Until yesterday, I could cry the pain out. Today, I struggle even to express it.

I sat there, thinking about how suddenly my world has changed. I couldn't find an answer to any of my questions.

But one thing I promise...

I will smile. I will cherish every memory of ours, from SomRaj to SwaRaj.... And I will share every piece of our story with our children, so they know what true love is, and how deeply we loved one another.

Miss you Gelha :( 

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