Sanguinity..

The heart bleeds again
into the quiet corridors of the subconscious,
where memories hang like unfinished frames
and every color stains a deeper red.

Sanguinity does not suit every season;
sometimes hope feels like a costume
stitched too tight against the ribs.
I am tired of pretending
the moment is enough.

With each breath
I fasten a smile to my face,
threading effort into the hollow spaces,
yet every attempt goes in vain
a promise whispered
to walls that do not answer.

I tell myself
that someday all things will settle,
that the chaos will fold into calm
but I do not know
if I am healing
or merely hiding.

I tuck away the aches,
name them anything but longing.
Still, when tears descend unannounced,
they lead me back
to where we once stood
to where you let go.

How miserably I miss
the simple sanctuary of your arms,
that quiet wrap of warmth
where the world softened its edges.

There are moments
I want to unravel before someone
yet I swallow the storm,
afraid to disturb another sky
with my thunder.

So I rise for the sake of days ahead,
brushing sorrow from my sleeves,
wearing cheerfulness like armor.
I will try
in every small, stubborn way
to keep the light alive.

But tonight, my love,
your absence aches with a sharper voice.
I drove through restless roads
thinking motion might steady me,
yet even the wind
could not dry the salt of my cheeks.

They say tears trouble the departed,
that peace trembles at the sound of grief.
Do not worry my love
I will learn to cry in whispers.

Still, carefully, quietly,
I will continue to crave your love.

And in the hush before sleep,
I confess the simplest wish
to rest my weary head upon your lap once more,
and gather the comfort
I still believe was meant for me.

 xoxo...miss you so badly