speaking to a presence that no longer reassures .... an unsteady pillar that once held me strong.
It’s been a month…
A month of fighting, of being irritable and restless — but only to be met with silence.
It’s been a month of talking, sharing, and breaking down — but only into empty space,
no arms to hold the heaviness.
It’s been a month of smiling, laughing, pretending — but only in front of an unsteady pillar
that no longer leans back.
The clock keeps ticking, alarms ring, reminders buzz — but there’s no one to be picked up, no one to return.
Even the warmth I find in these fragile comforts, feels unfamiliar, even frightening —
because fear now hides in everything and nothing.
Still, I promise to rise,
to gather the strength you once believed I had.
I will try to be strong for the kids, for our life.
But I need to ask…
You said you'd come back for our kids — can you assure me that your hands are still guiding them,
blessing them, protecting them?
You don’t need to answer right away…
But as the days pass,
we will look for signs.
We will hold onto the belief
that the Man of the House remains the Man of the House — even from where you are.
Can you promise us that?
When I walk alone I wish I can reach the end of the road, but when you walk with me I wish that the road would never end.
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