In the Void...

Ji,

I’m starting a new chapter today...

A chapter shaped by responsibility, a chapter that speaks only in silence.

Your voice echoes in the void, wishing me luck and yet, somewhere deep inside, it tares me to piece.

I know I shouldn't worry, because you are always with me.
But in the silence I struggle, a silence I’m not ready for.

In your warmth, I’ve faced the world. Now, I will rise and stand against all odds.

No matter where life takes me, I promise I won’t let you down.

So... wish me luck not because I ask for it, but because I know it’s always there.....
guiding me, as I walk a path with no map.

I miss you so much baba... Stay well my love :x

Unaware of the Where....

Unaware of the Where.....

I may have accepted the truth,

Yet how real it feels, I cannot say.

The facts remain, but I can’t find my place in them;

Their weight is vague,

Their echo unbearable.

I’m moving forward, or so I claim.....

But the ground beneath me still wavers.

I know you're there...

Where, I do not know.

Life was once painted in color,

And perhaps we still try to add more.

But every tie-dye we once made together

Now ceases to fade..

As if time, too, refuses to let go.

I reach deep within to release the sorrow,

Yet I cling to the breath that steadies me.

The breath you once shared,

The warmth that lived in your embrace..

Now lives only in the threads you left behind.

And still, a sudden chill steals even that away.

Cast away... to cast a way.

Nurture my steps from wherever you are.

I try to move, truly I do...

But something holds me still.

Stay with me, forever, my love.

I know you're there,

Only... unaware of the where.💔

speaking to a presence that no longer reassures .... an unsteady pillar that once held me strong.  

It’s been a month…
A month of fighting, of being irritable and restless — but only to be met with silence.

It’s been a month of talking, sharing, and breaking down — but only into empty space,
no arms to hold the heaviness.

It’s been a month of smiling, laughing, pretending — but only in front of an unsteady pillar
that no longer leans back.

The clock keeps ticking, alarms ring, reminders buzz — but there’s no one to be picked up, no one to return.

Even the warmth I find in these fragile comforts, feels unfamiliar, even frightening —
because fear now hides in everything and nothing.

Still, I promise to rise,
to gather the strength you once believed I had.

I will try to be strong for the kids, for our life.

But I need to ask…  

You said you'd come back for our kids — can you assure me that your hands are still guiding them,
blessing them, protecting them?

You don’t need to answer right away…
But as the days pass,
we will look for signs.
We will hold onto the belief
that the Man of the House remains the Man of the House — even from where you are.

Can you promise us that?

When I walk alone I wish I can reach the end of the road, but when you walk with me I wish that the road would never end.