The 3 Cs I see .. Care, Comfort & Caressing 🫶🏻

Leaning against the wall,
wrapped in your warmth,
chaos softens into calm!
“I wish the timer would never ring.”

There was a strange feeling,
quietly shadowing the pleasure…
not a need, not longing for more,
just the wish to rest,
to breathe fully inside that moment.

It’s affection I crave,
the kind that lingers and stays,
the kind I know I’ll carry with me, always.

It isn’t that I’ve ignored your advice: 
I remember every word,
holding them carefully,
trying in silence, step by step.

I wouldn’t let you down,
yet the thought of facing the world again
still sends a shiver through me.

With you, I find the solace
that helps me keep walking forward.
So, keeping my words true,
I only wish to remain
your silly, little, greedy girl :) 
wanting nothing more
than your care,
and the comfort of your gentle presence….of course the greed of your caressing remains 🤗

XOXO(♾️) silly boy, wish you were a little more greedier than me 🤗❤️

Celebrating the Love That Death Cannot End..

The journey between falling in love at first sight and dying inside from an unbearable fright has carried me through uncountable shades of emotion, gestures of tenderness, sparks of enviousness, whispers of possessiveness, waves of affection, care, concern, compromises, and above all… a reason to fall in love for and with you, again and again.

Every day I reassure myself that even though the path is no longer the same, I will not give up. Not because I am strong, but because I never learned how to walk away from you. Instead, I remind myself that each day is a lesson, and every moment is a new chapter in a book with unknown number of pages, pages you can only breathe through.

My mind keeps directing me back to the places where we once held hands and walked those few precious steps together. Yet my heart drifts elsewhere .. towards preparing your favourite meal, planning that candle-lit dinner, wrapping the gifts we chose with such playful anticipation.
Shhhhh… that’s still our secret.
Those little rituals, those moments of sensuality and warmth, where we pampered each other, encouraged each other, loved each other so fiercely… Today, all of that lives only in pen and ink.

I find myself organizing the evening exactly the way I would have done in your presence, but alas, neither are you here, nor is there your constant, endeared nagging about what I’m planning. The silence where your voice once lived is the heaviest part of my night.

Your last words keep echoing, reminding me of how much you meant to me, to us. But tell me, my love…

Are you truly here with me?
Are you truly hearing my silent woes?
Are you truly guiding my path, step by trembling step?
Are you still trying, in your own unseen way, to make me smile?

I am exhausted from this emotional rundown, yet it is not as if I haven’t accepted the truth; that now you live only in my thoughts, my actions, and the chambers of my heart.

I want to cherish the happiness that was once ours.
Will I ever get that again?

It’s our anniversary, my love. No candles, no flowers can brighten this day or bring back the fragrance we once blossomed together. But I will spend the day remembering you, longing for a chance to fulfill the desires you left unspoken… the ones you saved specially for this day.

Happy 24th my love!! 

A quiet request for Comfort..

May I have a moment to rest my head on your lap, to let the storm inside me slowly settle..

A moment to simply breathe: 
while your hands soothe the tension in my shoulders once more..

Let me smile through the tears…
tears that fall only so I can pause, gather myself,
and rise again.
My body curls in on itself from a pain I can’t name;
I am tired in ways words can’t hold.

I know life must be taken as it comes,
but still….
may I have this moment to regain my balance,
to find my way back into my own skin?

It feels as though my very flesh has loosened its grip on my bones and I wonder if I will ever feel like myself again.
I get upset over the smallest things,
but deep down I know, in those moments I am not me.

I want to laugh with you,
to cheer for you,
to be the person you know,

but first,
let me rest my head on your lap
until I can rebuild myself once more.

My heart bleeds again…

 My heart bleeds again… 

God has his way of doing things and may be that’s why He took Ji earlier :(

little girl Isha, you stepped into my life with innocence in your heart and curiosity shining in your eyes. We laughed, we cheered, we ate together—I fed you, and we chose to chill out as buddies, or “Bruhs,” as you all started calling. That was the beginning of our bond.

Dance became our language—our way of connecting, of building trust m, comfort and care. I am forever grateful to the Almighty that you chose me to be your Odissi guide. No matter what, how bad the situation be, you always showed up. For years I dressed you in your Odissi attire, but the other day, when I dressed you and combed your hair, it felt so painfully different, my child. My heart bled again.

We witnessed your growth—how beautifully you blossomed in your dancing, how confidently you performed your solo before a great audience. I will always cherish those simple, precious moments: you counting the candles I bought and deciding which ones I could use…  uncle buying more and asking me to show them to you. You became our life in ways we never expected.

When Ji was unwell, you would softly ask if I was okay, if he was doing better. Your gentle concern showed the depth of your little heart. Last Sunday, while preparing for the exam, you were all challenged, and I asked you to work on a piece and come prepared to lead. Isha… SDT will never be the same without you.

No matter how much I try to convince myself, your voice—“Whattt? Why? Why me? … Okay, I can do it”—keeps echoing inside me. The world may not have seen it all, but your parents, your brother, B aunty, M aunty, and I knew how responsible, respectful, and sincere you were.

Aneesh, Bhai, and Sony — we know that life will never be the same again, but we are so deeply grateful to you for letting us share such beautiful moments with Isha. Those memories will stay with us and give us strength as we move forward. Sony, SDT is all yours; you know how much we cherish you and everything you are. Please remember that this family is always with you, holding you close in our hearts. May you find comfort in knowing that you are never alone, and that Isha’s light will continue to guide us all.

our princess dwells in our heart at all times.

Life is bitter - kids had recently accepted life without dad but their hearts ache again and this time, nothing can solace them.  I hope I can gather myself again.

The only regret I will carry for the rest of my life is not keeping my promise of your Boba treat. I’m so sorry, my sweetie pie. With uncle’s condition, I couldn’t keep my word… Please forgive me, if you can, my love.

Have a peaceful journey, my angel.  Uncle will take care of you upstairs!

I love you my baby!